Don't quit on your dreams because you're going to be a parent.

Here is a photo of me with three other ladies for the "Royal Ladies Shoot". I was 7 months pregnant and felt really glamorous as most pregnant women feel everything but the opposite. The Universe was talking to me and I wasn't listening.I remember when I found out I was pregnant, the thought of it made my heart smile. I was elated with joy. Then I felt like I had to make changes in my life and make room for my new precious gift.I've always been an ambitious woman with many goals and milestones for myself. In 2008 I had a plans to start my own company, get my own show, find the love of my life and then down the line start a family. Well, that all happened in that order. I started my own company in 2009 and ValSecrets.com had become New York City's hottest new brand.  By the end of 09' I had signed a contract with the BBC to star in a show called Bama Belles that later aired on TLC by end of 2010. While the second episode of Bama Belles aires I have profound spiritual awakening and through that period I meet my my future fiance.And so you're thinking, "that was easy"? It wasn't easy. I worked very hard to reach those goals, very hard. But at the same time, some might say it came easy. Yes, on the scale of the big picture, it did come easy . Other's might question, well did you do it or was it your destiny? Kind of like,  what came first the chicken or the egg?  In my view, things come easy when they are "meant to be". What do I mean by "meant to be" that the Universe has recognized your perfect work and aligns the circumstances for you to take the opportunity that you wished for, then be challenged and finally succeed. Otherwise, the Universe takes the offer away if it doesn't see you meeting it's invitation and following through.  The Universe is very generous and gives you all that you wish for, but you are tested to see if you can take on the preliminary challenges first. Today my website ValSecrets.com is minute version of what it was 3 years ago. The reason is because I haven't been clear as to how I wanted to live my life ever since I've had my spiritual awakening but most importantly have become a Mother. Due to my spiritual awakening, I have become very conscious as to what I do in my life as I know everything I do does effect my daughter's life today and tomorrow. It has been a huge discourse in my head as to what I need to do for myself, but most importantly for my family.  While I was pregnant I was asked to be interviewed and shoot for a feature in a NY Magazine and they asked about my plans for my future career. I had no idea if I was going to continue the "Mogulista" lifestyle or be a stay home Mommy.Seven months after my daughter's birth I face myself again and I know it's the Universe talking to me. I am so lucky that I have a gorgeous, healthy, bright baby girl (that I called out for many years) and I feel so extremely grateful. My priority is my baby and I would do anything for her, but I know that I have a calling in this lifetime and unfinished work.My "DREAMS" are rattling around in my mind and my soul knows what has to be done. Like I said on Facebook the other day; "You have the power to change your life, you first must change how you think and feel about it and then you must trust the divine will."  We Mommy's and even Daddy's mustn't give up on our dreams especially if you start to feel a void in your soul. You cannot ignore what the Universe is trying to tell you. Pay attention to the signs and they will lead you to the way. If you are scared or nervous to start again, just remember that fear kills all and nothing thrives in fear, nothing.I am inspired to do a video blog on this topic as so many women (and men) tend to lose their identity while being a parent. I will continue on this topic via YouTube.com/vispa317

My Facebook status rant about Facebook

QUESTION..... If you didn't have Facebook, text messaging or email how many people would you be in contact everyday? Who really cares about you? I think I would only hear from my Mother/Father and Asheem.

So is Facebook great for keeping in touch or is it just great to keep in touch on the surface. You know, click on "like", comment on a photo or facebook status and that is being in touch all the sudden. Do you really call and ask the person how they are and make plans to see them or just stop by their house and say hello? Does that happen anymore? I remember growing up and people would just stop by my parents house and we'd welcome them. It was so nice to see them face to face and catch up. Now that is the equivalent of a lame text message. Really? A text message? Technology wasn't meant for what we have become.

We have become social misfits. My cell phone shouldn't be called a phone. It should be called "social electronic pocket device". Do we even know how to make new friends on the outside world? Most of us here have at LEAST 1 person on facebook that you strictly know from facebook. What is that? Do you really need a total stranger to be your friend or do you just like them in your "friends list" so that they will like the stuff you post and vice versa? Some of you actually made friends with those total strangers and met them in person or speak to them on the phone. Great, but if facebook shutdown do you really think you can sustain that relationship? The big question is do we really have a deep relationship with one another or are we just acting like we do on these social networks?

I don't post photos of my daughter on facebook because I don't want everyone to look at her; some will look at her with love, some with judgement, and others with jealousy. Then they will like her photo or write some comment, (go ahead count the likes and comments). So you have 500 friends on facebook and those 500 ppl saw a photo of your baby and so will their friends if they like it or comment on it. In reality, would you cut out 500 + photos of your baby and throw it around to every Joe Shmoe and wait around for a comment on her photos? I doubt it. Then there is stuff that I do like; post images, comments or videos of things that are important to me that I'd like for you to see; but what does it do for my life to post at the end of the day? What substance has it brought to my life and to my family's life? I could be walking in nature, playing with my baby, or doing something human and healthful and not doing something that is pure nonsense.

We have to take a step back and realize that we have enslaved ourselves to our fb contact list, to the likes, to the comments, to the information on your newsfeed that is all just pixels of light shining through a plastic device. Where is the profoundness in all this? Where is the heart in all this?

A facebook "like" isn't enough anymore. I am over it.

I welcome back to my life phone calls on my LAN Line, Face to face meetups, Written Letters, Drop-by my home, Send me photos of your kids so I can frame them, Ask me how I am doing, Thanks you cards, and real hugs and kisses PLEASE!

LOVE,
Val

Astral Traveling, Golden Lotus, Golden Praying Hands, or just a dream?

Ever since my spiritual awakening 2 years ago I have had all kinds of non 3 dimensional "stuff" happen to me. After a spiritual, life changing, heart opening experience I had last week, lastnight's visions were quite beautiful.

It started that I went into bed with the light off and I was still wide awake, and I had a vision of golden hands in prayer position with just the finger tips touching. The golden hands then opened slowly like a flower but to be more specific, like a lotus flower opening up which then the hands did turn into the lotus. The lotus was pink and white which then turned lavender and all these sort of lavender flowers would bloom off a tree but I was above the tree floating. I then was flying over tree tops and saw a hill and on that mosey hill was a golden statue. This golden statue was a man with a long robe, one of a holy man , with his arms to the side and a pyramid crown on his head. I then passed over this statue and kept going, which seemingly I believe I was in space where I saw a dancing golden light spark and then off of this light it became colorful prisms of light dancing in the dark, knowing that I was that light. I was in a state of bliss.

I was laying there completely still and not sleeping. I was having another spiritual experience that inches me closer to the "I am", to the source.

I woke up with so much love in me. It's such a blessing to awaken!

What is Love?

When you tell someone you love them, do you know what you are saying to them?

According to Wikipedia, "Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment.^[1] Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of humankindness, compassion, and affection —"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".^[2] Love may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals"

That sounds just peachy doesn't it? Love is a noun according to the English Dictionary. Let me remind you what a noun is.

Noun A word (other than a pronoun) used to identify any of a class of people, places, or things (common noun), or to name a particular one of...

Why is love a noun? No one owns love. Love isn't a person, place or a thing. No one can bottle love. 

Love is a vibrational energy that is always there in the Universe and on our planet. This frequency is how everything in nature is born onto our planet. Love is all around us and we are a love frequency. The problem is that we humans actually lower our vibration when we don't feel love with our minds. Love is not something of the mind, nor is it of the heart. Your mind and heart can feel love, but so can the rest of your body. Therefore, your mind connects to your heart to say, "I love you", but to actually feel love does not come from the mind or of the heart.

You feel "love" when you can be yourself around someone and he likes and accept you as you are, then you are in harmony with him. That harmony is a vibration of love. You might recognize this and say "I love you" to the person. Now let's take it to the next level where being around someone will bring out your "Uber self" where you feel awakened senses and then this usually brings out this term, "I'm in love with you". So you don't really "love" the person, but you love how the person makes you feel. You enjoy connecting to that person because your vibration rises to the love frequency, which is basically a human's natural state. The problem is that you tend to stay in a lower vibration most of the time. Ultimately, that vibration is always there, you just have to access it. 

Best Highchair of 2013 in My Book

After weeks of looking for the perfect highchair for my daughter, I not only find the perfect highchair but the perfect 2 in one highchair to junior chair. Anastasia's new highchair the "Juice" by Mammas & Papas is just so sweet, pun intended. I just love it and so does she.

The features I was looking for;
1. Easy to clean
2. Modern design (not babyish)
3. Not bulky, doesn't take up a lot of room in kitchen
4. Easy to move around with wheels

The Juice is so easy to clean, small in size, easily movable without wheels, easy to build, useable till she's 5 years old, becomes a small chair, and it's not expensive at all. I obviously love the way it looks. The tray is easy to put on and off but not flimsy. My baby is 7 months old, is in the 75th percentile for her height and she fits in this highchair perfectly. In the Graco, Peg Perego, and any standard highchair my baby's chin was just an inch off of the tray, but with the Juice it reaches her properly around her chest.  I got more than I asked for.

The only thing that I didn't get that I asked for were the wheels, but I have to say that the chair is very light and easy to move around on the rubber pegged legs.

I am a fan of this chair, but it has some things I can see how some would say it's lacking in features.
The Juice is not for you if;
You like to put cheerios on the tray.
You need a highchair that folds.
You need a highchair from birth, on.
You need a highchair on wheels.

From a scale to 1-10, 1 being useless and 10 being perfect, I give it a 8.5.

How to Attract a Pisces Man

Pisces is a Water Sign which means he is attracted to someone who is sensitive and free spirited.

Pisces man is the sign of spirituality. Pisces man tend to be very close to his family so much that he likes to live close to them or he’ll be roommates with them. He enjoys that bondship and immediate closeness.

The Pisces guy is very passionate. If he gets something in his head that he wants to do or accomplish he will do it and do it well. He never gives up unless it becomes humanly impossible.

When a Pisces is trying to court you, he is very smooth about it. He shows it by showing you how people react to him- to show you that he can charm anyone, but he chooses you. He has a certain something about him that the ladies are attracted to and he knows about this super power, but he never abuses it if he’s in love.



Pisces men have an affinity towards the water; boating, fishing, and swimming. After all, he’s a fish.Take him for a stroll on the beach and you will light his romantic side. He enjoys simple vacations that include the bare necessities; You and Him.

Pisces are very sensitive. He doesn’t like when you put him down or reject him so if you think that he is not putting enough effort into you it might be because he doesn’t want to be turned down. He is so sensitive that a person’s energy can sway him of wanting to hang out with them. If Pisces are very close to you and love your energy they can be somewhat psychic with you. It may creep you out at first, but ultimately that is a very good thing. It means that you have become close to your Pisces man and that’s rare for a Pisces.

Pisces are a lot of fun since they are so easy going. He’s the type of guy that will be standing at a bar and before you know it everyone is around him talking to him. He is fair and friendly and everyone wants to hear what he has to say.

Pisces are very mysterious even though they are so social. He never let’s you know what he’s thinking because one that happens that means he’s spilling his guts and that is a BIG step for him. He tends to
keep things superficial until he feels very comfortable with you. That’s when he’s a sweet mushy guy.

Pisces are very sensual in the bedroom and he prefers a sensual woman as well. His ideal woman is someone that is cute, not so much hot. He likes women who are super affectionate but also give him his mental
space. Pisces men like to take alone time since they tend to be creative and very sensitive to energy. That is how they recharge their batteries.

If you want to seduce him, be sweet and coy. Playing a bit of cat and mouse will drive him wild, but don’t play it too long, he will become frustrated an d disinterested.

Wear a fitted outfit that shows your curves but in a classy way, rather than sexy to catch his eye.

Natural Face Treatment

Placenta Burial

Yesterday before we moved out of our house, where my daughter was in the womb and spent 6 months of her life, we buried my and Anastasia's placenta by our favorite tree on the Oscawana House property, "the baby house".

For some people it sounds very strange the whole concept of holding on to an organ to bury it. I can understand but once you are concious to why I would do such a thing you might consider doing it yourself. Placenta burial is common among cultures and places, such as Kenya, Malaysia, and Nigeria, and even in Thailand.

First of all, the placenta is the organ that your baby grows into and is the only organ that grows in the body to later be discarded. Spiritually, the placenta is considered the baby’s twin, or thought to have its own spirit, and is buried with the appropriate rites. In Mexico, Nepal, and New Zealand, the placenta is honored as the companion or friend of the baby, and is placed in the earth reverently, but is not thought to have a spirit of its own.

What I did was before I was even in labor I asked my midwife and doula to ensure that they don't throw my placenta away with the rest of the hospital organ disposal. After you and your baby growing and being nurtured by it, why in the world would you just throw it away in a garbage can with other organs? Their is sacredness even to a body part, especially one that connects you to your baby. So we put the placenta in a ziplock bag in a small cooler with ice and later kept in on our freezer.

I held the placenta zip-locked placenta in my hand with my 6 month daughter next to me and I shed a tear. I felt the impact of the energy of the placenta, connecting us to her being in utero.

I've read that the placenta is very nourishing, it will help the plant above it grow as it decomposes, returning to the earth. How wonderful that it's going back into the Earth.

In modern Western culture, placenta burial is usually highly personal. It may be based off of the rituals of other cultures, or on the perception of those rituals, but will probably be altered depending on the individual’s preference. It can be planted at the base of a tree or bush, for instance. Some mothers choose to get a special plant for each placenta they bury.

We buried it 3 feet under ground at the house where she lived in since she was born right below a beautiful tree's branches to keep it protected. One day my little butterfly Anastasia can return to her cocoon's remnants in the Earth.

It's been told that where the placenta is buried the person who grew in the placenta can connect to herself by meditating on the grounds of it's burial.

I hope this changed your mind about discarding you and your babies placenta.

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How to Attract a Scorpio Man

Scorpio's are Water Signs which means they are attracted to sensitive souls.

A Scorpio man wants a woman that will stand by him no matter what, through the good and bad. He's attracted to women who are passive aggressive. He likes sensitive, kind hearted women.

Pay attention to what he likes and dislikes. Never serve him something that he's made explicit to you that he doesn't like. It will be a turnoff to him, because he takes notes in his head what makes you happy or not and he's just looking for the same in return.

He likes to do things for you that have practical sense; give you a car ride home, connect you with people of your interest, make your life easier. They are not very good at giving gifts, because to them it's 'the little things' that count. So don't complain about his gifts because it doesn't register to him that he hasn't done enough.

He looks at the relationship in a big picture. He considers a woman for a long lasting relationship who will make a good partner, friend, wife, and mother. He wants a woman that will grow with him, as he is always trying to learn and grow.

He tends to get very wrapped up with his work, hobbies and projects; but that doesn't mean that he's forgotten you. His goal is to make you happy and proud of him. You will never have to worry about money with a Scorpio, because he will find a way to use his skills and talents to make money and lots of it.

Scorpio guy is a good talker. He loves to socialize and talk to people about his ideas and theories. However, once he gets bored, he is out of there. The same rule goes for when he's involved with a woman. Keep a mystery about you so it will make him want more. If you ask a Scorpio out on a date he finds your confidence sexy, but if you want him to stick around he prefers the chase.

He tends to have a lot of options since his charismatic personality can fetch any girl. Once a Scorpio man ends the relationship because you fell out of his heart, he doesn't look at you the same anymore.

Scorpio man is very sensitive and seeks out a woman that he feels a cosmic connection with. Once he found that cosmic connection he will never stray away.

The best way to sexually turn on a Scorpio is to show him love; how you look at him and what you say to him with loving affection makes him crazy about you.

Scorpio man is attracted to beautiful woman with delicate facial features and a womanly body. He has keen senses so if you smell good you've already caught his attention. He also is attracted to women with nice teeth, hair and nails. Afterall, he's looking for the mother of his children.

A great way to find out if your Scorpio man is in love with you is if he gets jealous. If he isn't jealous he is keeping his feelings and the relationship shallow with you.

photo credit: zazzle.com

Giving Birth Naturally with a Midwife and Doula - A Birth Story

This photo was taken 1 min after I gave birth to my daughter. I was looking at my midwives and doula with pure gratitude.

August 7th 2012 at 1 am, (ten days after July 29th my estimated due date) my fiance and I head for the hospital while I was in horrible back labor and of course it got worse and worse. Through the early morning into the afternoon I was having tremendous back labor pains. Around noon the pain was so strong that I would shake in silence every time I had a contraction. I was in 12 hour labor and my fiance and doula’ Billie Wolfe had been by my side through out it all. Throughout labor I sat on the bed sitting up, I sat and rolled on the exercise ball, I even took a few hot showers. The whole time I controlled my breathing and I never let out a scream, but moaned instead. I had watched some documentaries on natural birthing and one documentary showed a woman having an orgasm while in labor. I think I was far from an orgasm.

Finally I had enough. In a low-tone voice, with whatever energy I had left I looked into my fiance's eyes and I told him, "I can't do this anymore, I need some pain killers". The backpain was so unbearly painful that I gave into the drugs and took the epidural. I was trying to avoid the epidural because once you take a drug during labor, 90% chance that it will become a downward spiral of interventions. When the doctor gave me the pain killer and asked me how was the pain, I told him “It feels like a knife is stabbing me in the back”. He was so confused and worried, he says “Perhaps I didn’t do it right”. I said, ‘No, No, it’s better than a chainsaw in my back”. I was 95% effaced but only 2 centimeters dilated for the whole 12 hours of excruciating pain. After half an hour of being relaxed by the epidural, Lonnie Morris came into the room to check on my dialation and I became 9 cetimeters dialated!

My mid-wives Lonnie Morris and Leah Marinelli were ready to deliver my baby. They placed a large mirror in front of me so that I could see the baby come out. Leah held my legs, while Lonnie delivered the baby. I also had Bille, the doula holding a scarf and we would tug on each end when I would push. I pushed for an hour and a half with a smile on my face because I knew the baby was coming. I remember my fiance saying that he couldn’t believe I was smiling at that point after going through so much. I was still in pain, less pain, but I was overcoming it with excitment and joy that she were coming. I remember telling the midwives, “Let’s get this show on the road”. They are against interventions, but they said that for my case it was needed. They always made me feel like I was on the right track and I was doing everything right. At 4:43 pm when the baby was halfway out I pulled her out myself by grabbing her from under her arms and onto my chest. August 7th, 2012 on Tuesday at 4:44pm at Mountainside Hospital in Montclair, NJ my little Italian/Indian Princess was born at 7 lbs 7 oz. I cried with tears of joy having her little body on mine and being able to hold her hands and see her face.

Giving birth naturally was incredible. Every time I pushed I would see more and more of my baby's head. I had a "woah" moment when her head was out and I had to give one more push and her arms came out. My midwives knew I wanted to pull her out, so they yelled, "she's coming, she's coming, now! Grab her!".

I am so grateful to my finace, midwives and doula. I couldn't of done it without them. Their spirit and empowerment really gave me the perserverance to have a natural birth. No doctor would have done what Lonnie Morris did for me. I would have had a completely different experience. I called them the "Dream Team".

The next day I was in the recovery room with my baby, fiance, and my parents when Lonnie came by for a quick visit. She came to see how I was doing and to say hi to the baby. Lonnie said, that a doctor would have given me a c-section. I thanked her again profusely and she left me with, "You're my hero".

If you are in the NJ/NY area you can contact "The Dream Team"
(Midwife) Lonnie Morris - http://www.childbirthcenter.net
(Midwife) Leah Marinelli - http://www.homebirthwithlove.com/
(Doula) Billee Wolff - http://doulamatch.net/profile/564/billee-wolff