Moving In Together Before You Are Married To Him By Val

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Moving In Together Before You Are Married To Him

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My sister CAT201 asked the question if a girl should move in with her boyfriend before she gets married.. Of course this is assuming that the goal is to get married. Here's my answer...

marriage boyfriend moving in together cohabitating

Topic:

Relationships

Comments

melissaoconnor

1034 Days Ago

I feel that it is a great idea to live together before you get married. Its along the same lines as not waiting till marriage to be with someone sexually. I can't believe people still do that these days! Anyway, how will you know if you can be with that person on a daily basis if you don't live with them? You can't. I am a true believer in hands on experience. You cannot truly know or understand something unless you have experienced it yourself. I am not saying to move in with someone right away. But if you are in love and plan to be with that person in the future than living together is the next step. Like Val, I have lived with a couple people before and they both did not work out. That is because I learned more about who they were and realized that we were not a good match. If I did not move in with them I might not have learned that so quickly. And honestly, I don't need to waste any more of my life on relationships that are going nowhere. So here I am, about to turn 30 in July. My boyfriend Danny (27) is moving in June 1st and we couldn't be more excited. For us, this is it. We do have plans to get married and start a family together. By the time we will be living together we will be together for 10 months. That is long enough. Everyone is different though. This is the next big step for us and hopefully this time around the third time is a charm! Trust yourself and do not be afraid. Being able to test the water before you go in is a smart idea. Just try not to trap yourself in the relationship and have your own life as well. Independence is a great gift. Strive for it.

JAMIELYNN

1035 Days Ago

I understand where you are coming from. For me, my husband and I moved in together right away, because we were long distance. Than he lived nearby, but eventually moved back in because we were basically living together. I think it was a great way to get to know each other, but I will admit, once you move in together it is a lot harder to get out. So, you do need to know that a future together is what you want before making the step. For me, I didn't want to officially own anything with my than boyfriend unless we were married. So for us we tried out living together before making the purchase and getting married. It is different for everyone. I think you need to know each other, be with each other awhile, know you want to get married, and really think before making the move. You don't want to get trapped. Good luck

Cat201

1035 Days Ago

Thanks Val, I totally agree with you! Studies show that most married couples who move in together prior to getting engaged are more likely to be unhappily married. The reason for this is because couples that move in together before getting engaged may choose to get married for the wrong reasons, such as, being together for a certain amount of years, it's convenient, it’s the next step or the couple feels social pressures to get married. Of course each case is different and there are many couples that have lived together before marriage and are still happily married.

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